Crossovers: 1 Everyone's relieved kuno's abduction
by Gden
Summary: Ever tried to picture a fight between your fave or least fave anime character and the power rangers? well, this is a fic I wrote a year ago where Kuno fights them, if you know anything about either show, you'll laugh your tail off!


disclaimer: I DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT own Ranma 1/2 or any of the characters within,   
nor do I own the Power rangers and the characters within, though I wouldn't mind owning   
one of them, damn I'd be rich  
  
and so it begins... BWAHAHAHA!  
  
Volume 1: Everyone's relieved, Kuno's abduction  
  
  
  
  
It's a typical day in Takahashi-land. We zoom in on Kuno, who is chasing his  
pig-tailed goddess (Ranma). "Come to me, my love!", he calls.  
  
"Go away!!!", Ranma screams back.  
  
How about some information now. Ranma is a boy who fell into a spring of  
drowned girl. Now, whenever he is splashed with cold water, he turns into a  
girl, and only changes back when splashed back when he is splashed with warm  
water. Kuno does not have a clue about this, and thinks Ranma-chan is the  
soul-slave of Ranma, thanks to Akane's sister, Nabiki, the Black-mailer.  
  
Cut to Rita's castle. "Oh,no!" she wails. "They (Power Rangers) killed my  
latest monster. Those bastards."  
  
To Squatt and Baboo, who are watching television. "What're you doing?"  
(She starts to watch the television, which is showing Ranma 1/2) "I like that  
character," she says. (Points at Ranma) "He would make a good match for the  
Power Rangers!"  
  
She casts a spell to pull Ranma out of his world, but at the spot where she  
is supposed to say Ranma, Squatt interrupts her and says, "Be quiet. Kuno's  
coming."  
  
So, instead, Kuno gets pulled through instead. Rita says, "You idiot!" She  
whacks Squatt.  
  
Kuno looks around. "Where in the Blue Blazes am I?" He sees Rita. "I am  
the blue Thunder of Furrinkan High! Tatewaki Kuno!"  
  
Rita says, "I didn't want you! I wanted the pig-tailed girl!!! #$%$%^%!  
  
Kuno says "wither did you want with MY pig-tailed Goddess??!?!?!?!?!?" He rushes at Rita.  
  
Rita warps him to earth in a really cheesy smoke-bomb effect. There, she  
appears really cheesily in the sky, and says "If you want to go back to your  
world, you must destroy the Power Rangers!"  
  
Of course, as usual, Kuno has absolutely no clue as to what's going on, so he  
sends out invitationsthat say "To the Power Rangers, I challenge you to a  
fight. Come to the High School tommorow." Unfortunately, he can only speak  
English, he can't write in English, he can only write in Japanese, so, no one  
knows what he wrote, except Billy. But, he can only read one phrase, "Power  
Rangers?".  
  
He says, "What the hell?"  
  
He takes the letter to the Command Center, to Zordon, and asks, "Zordon,  
is this some kind of code?"  
  
Zordon? says, "No you dumb-ass! It's Japanese. It says, 'Power Rangers  
....', obviously, this person wants to fight you!"  
  
Billy says, "No sh*t, sherlock!"  
  
Alpha says, "Billy, we have a lock on this creature, but he's not a creature,  
he's a human. Look at the Viewing Globe." The huge plastic globe has a  
super-imposed picture of Kuno chopping down a tree.  
  
Billy says, "Are you sure he's human?"  
Alpha?, holding up a sheet of paper with scribbles on it, says, "These  
scribbles, I mean, um... Aye, Yai, Yai, Yai, Yai!, er readings, say he's  
human."  
  
Billy says, "Contact the others."  
"Beep-Beep-Buh-Beep-Beep-Beep.", the overly techno-crapped watches say.  
The rest of the group just happens to be together, and Jason says, "Yeah,  
Zordon?" (Somehow knowing that it's Zordon)  
  
Zordon? says, "An unusually strong human is waiting for you in the park..."  
"...The park?" Billy interrupts, "I thought his note said the High School"  
  
"I know, but our cheap budget tells us we can only use the park, er, I mean,  
he changed his mind, but as I was saying," (He says through gritted, blurred,  
but nonetheless, gritted teeth) "you probably won't be able to reason with  
him. Be ready for anything."  
  
All the Rangers warp to the park. They appear.  
  
Kuno says, holding a red rose up in front of his face, "Ah. And, who might  
you be?"  
  
Jason says, "We're the Power Rangers?!"  
  
Kuno says, "Well, I'm the Rising Star of the kendo Club, (Enter Kuno's  
3-minute speech here), the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, tatewaki Kuno!  
And, I have been ordered by Rita to destroy you!" He chops down another  
tree. Jason's mouth drops open.  
  
Zack says, "You know, at this rate, the park is gonna' run outta' trees real  
fast."  
  
Kuno says, "Enough talk! Let us fight!"  
  
Jason has recovered and attacks. Kuno tosses him away like a rag doll. Wait  
a minute, what Kuno threw away from him really was a rag doll.  
  
Zack dances toward Kuno to make an attack, and Kuno slices a gaping hole in  
his hand, and ketchup, um, I mean blood flies everywhere. "Two down. You  
are no challenge!" Kuno says, "Even Saotome has beaten me before."Tommy  
attacks, and ends up with a cardboard tree branch "pinning" him down.  
  
Billy, Trini, and Kimberly try a trio attack, and actually get a hit in (but  
only because they had caught Kuno off guard) before being knocked away.  
  
Jason helps get Tommy up, and yells, "It's Morphin' Time?!"  
  
Cheesy sparks fly everywhere, as smoke comes up on a very bad blue screen  
image showing each "Ranger", in turn, inside his/her "morpher", as each  
yells, "Dragonzord, Mastadon, Teredactyl, Triceratops, Sabre-Toothed Tiger,  
Tyrrannosaurus!" Then they all say at once, "Power Rangers!"  
  
"Ah!" ,Kuno says, holding a rose up in front of his face, "Their true colors  
are revealed!" Far away in the juice bar, everyone falls over consecutively. Then,   
changing moods, suddenly, "Prepare to lose!" He runshis sword across each Rangers?   
chest, who all just happen to be standing side by side, and sparks fly from their chest.  
  
Billy says, "How is that possible? It's a wooden sword!"  
  
Kuno says, "How the hell should I know? It's your show!"  
  
Kimberly runs up and hits Kuno over the head, and Kuno falls instantly in  
love. He says, "Come to me, my pink paisly, Power- borne Ranger-Goddess."  
  
Kimberly says, "Ewww! Yuck. Like, get off me you womanizer."  
  
The Rangers pull out their blasters, and Kuno disarms them easily. Then  
they pull out their plastic SABAN brand Power Weapons, but with one  
sweep-spin Kuno disarms them, yet again.  
  
Then Jason says, "It's time for the Power Blaster!"  
  
"Power Axe!", Zack says, and pulls back the handle of his axe, and throws it  
into the air, where it somehow levitates.  
  
"Power Bow!", Kimberly calls, and throws the bow into the air and it  
attaches itself, somehow, to the handle of Zack's Power Axe.  
  
"Power Daggers!", Trini announces, as holes magically appear on the daggers,  
and she throws them into the air, where they somehow find hook-age on the  
Power Bow.  
  
"Power Lance!", Billy yells, and somehow, he seperates the lance into two  
pieces and does with them what Trini did with her Power Daggers.  
  
"Power Sword!", Jason bellows, and he jumps up in the air , and places his  
sword on top of the monstrousity, then grabs ahold of it, and then lands.  
  
When he reaches the ground all of the other Rangers just happen to be right  
beside him.  
  
"Fire!", they all say, and a technicolor beam of light shoots out of the  
"Power Blaster".  
  
Kuno says, "Hunh Hungggggh! You said fire!", and jumps out of the way of the  
beam. He then slashes the Power Blaster in half, and sticks a huge branch  
down what is left of the Blaster that is in Jason's hands. It overloads, and  
blows up, damaging the Power Rangers.  
  
Jason says, "I'm tired of this! We need Dinozord Power now!" Then there's  
this filler sequencein which toys that are supposed to be Zords come out of  
the ground. It can take from 1-3 minutes, depending on how much time is  
needed to be taken up. Then, really cheesy Power Ranger puppets "fly"  
through the air and land on their "Zords", and "go" in.  
Jason says, "Power up your Power Crystals!"  
  
"Two, One! Power up!", everyone yells. Their Power coins stretch and  
somehow become crystals, and the Rangers jam the crystals into holes   
(author's note: ewwww. sticking pointy objects into holes, I thought this wasn't   
a sex fic), and yet ANOTHER filler sequence comes about, in which the Zords? come   
together to form this really f___-ed up cannon. Jason says, "Fire!"  
  
Everyone holds up their arms up at 90 degree angles and says, "Right."  
  
Kuno says, "You people must have an obsession with guns!"  
  
The Rangers fire, and Kuno just blocks the blast with that big-ass sword of  
his. Jason says, "Activate the Megazord Sequence?!"  
  
Everyone holds their arms up at right angles, and say, "Right!"  
  
The computer says, "Megazord Activation Sequence initiated." Then, the  
Cannon trransforms into a robotic form. (Another Damn Filler Sequence!)  
  
Well,before the Megazord can finish transforming completely, Kuno runs up,  
and chops off the legs. So, the Rangers decide to put the Dragonzord into  
Battle Mode (Will these Stupid Filler Sequences Ever Stop?)  
  
Rita, up in her castle on the moon, sees what has just happened through her  
"Magic Telescope" (That can somehow see all the way down to the Earth's  
Surface), and says, "Uh, oh! Magic Wand, make the conceited ass-hole grow!"  
  
She throws her wand at the Earth (Damn! she's strong!) It hits the ground and  
the Earth "splits", and Kuno "grows". (I Guess not) Now the battle gets just  
plain wierd. Kuno destroys the Tyrrannosaurus-zord, and goes after the  
Dragonzord.  
  
Jason says "Oh, no! He's coming after us!"  
  
The other Rnager hold up their arms at ninety-degree angles and say, "Right!"  
  
Jason says, "WOULD YOU STOP THAT?!?! Use the Dragon Lance!"  
  
The others hold up their arms at 90-degree angles and say, "Right!" Kuno, and  
Jason sweatdrop, then Kuno recovers and just destroys that, too.  
  
Jason says, "Activate the Self-destruct sequence!"  
  
The other Rangers hold up their arms at right angles, and say, "Right!"  
  
Billy says, "Wait! If we use the self-destruct, we'll never be able to use  
the zords again."  
  
Zack says "well, you're smart, yes billy, that is USUALLY what hte word   
self destruct IMPLIES!"  
  
Alpha interrupts, saying, "Are you guys busy?"  
  
Trini says, "Oh, no we're not busy! We're just trying to save the world from  
an insane human, intent on destroying us!"  
  
Alpha says, "Good. So long as you aren't doing anything" (Trini rolls her  
eyes in exasperation) "As I was saying, don't use the self-destruct sequence.  
Use the Japanese-Mary Poppins Defense Attack Program!"  
  
"Right!", the Rangers say while holding their arms up at 90-degree angles.  
Computer says, "Activating MAry Poppins Defense Attack Program." After a few minutes   
it says "Mary Poppins Defense attack Program initiated"  
  
Suddenly, two thin long sticks appear in the right hand of the Dragon-zord.  
And the computer plays over the Loud Speaker, the tune to "It's a Jolly  
holiday with Mary", and the croch of the Megazord moves downward to a peguin  
Dance Position, and the Megazord starts singing the words to the song.  
  
Billy says, "What the hell? Chopsticks? And the Penguin Dance?  
  
Alpha says, "Just block the attacks and be prepared to fire the Dragon-zord?  
missiles. By the way, that guy Kuno is from a cartoon from Japan called Ranma  
1/2."  
  
Kuno also says, "What the hell?  
  
Kimberly says, "Like, I thought I totally knew that guy from somewhere, or  
some-junk. For sure! He's that womanizer who is always being beaten up by  
that totally cute guy Ranma. Hey, do you think you could, like warp Ranma  
here, and some junk? He could, like totally, distract kuno, and some junk,  
long enough for us to hit him with, like our totally awesome missiles. That  
would be, like, 'Da Bomb!'"  
  
Alpha says, after a few moments of complete silence, "Yes, but it will take  
a few minutes to transport."  
  
After a few minutes, (It seems like everyone has fogotten about Kuno during  
this time) Ranma appears on top of a building (How there are buildings in the  
park, I know not), and has somehow been informed of what's going on, even  
though it's been less than a second.  
  
He says, "Hey, Kuno!"  
  
Kuno turns to face him, and says, "Ah, Saotome, as you can see, I am no  
longer the Blue Thunder of Furrinkan High! I am the Neon Thunder of the  
World! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! You could  
never beat me!"  
  
"No need to kuno, they already have", Ranma says, as he points toward the  
Dragonzord.  
  
Kuno looks over his shoulder and says, "Hmm?" as rockets slam into his back ,  
and he shrinks, while he yells, "Ahhhhhh! Hoist by my own petard!"  
  
The Rangers say, "Petard?"  
  
Ranma runs up to the now shrunken Kuno, and knocks him out, and the Rangers  
say that kuno is no longer a threat, and that there are two to transport.  
  
Kuno and Ranma disappear.  
  
Kimberly says, "Like, I hope we never have to totally deal with them again."  
  
(Back in Takahashi-land)  
  
Everyone's sitting around watching the television, a Soap Opera, and have  
absolutely no clue of what has been happening. Suddenly Ranma appears on top  
of the TV, with an unconscious and singed Kuno strapped to his back. Ranma  
sees everyone staring at him, with mouths agape, and says, "You don't wanna'  
know."  
  
  
  
) I so mean, this concludes the first in a hopeful series of a certain anime  
character versus the Power rangers!!! I did write this sometime last year, but at the time,   
I also didn't know about this site... anyway, I plan to start on my Ranma 1/2 fic "on the wings  
of an Eagle" and my Digimon fic "mark of a demon" soon, so I'm doing those first...  
anyway, when I get around to writing it, will come the second volume in Ranma 1/2 vs. the power  
rangers, "Kodachi vs season 2" but if I decide to stick witht the anime one instead, I might do   
Nahga instead, OHOHOHOHOHO! 


End file.
